Transforming Your Reality

In my haste at work last night, I put myself in a precarious position--one that could have had serious consequences if I had not caught myself and stopped it. In the past, such a scenario would have sent me into the world of panic and worry as my paranoid self wondered if I would be "found out". Today, there is nothing but calm and peace. I attribute this state of peace to some enlightened views of the world I have incorporated just this past year. These ideas have truly transformed my life into a new reality.

As I drove home from work, I did my usual review of the situation. I had to admit I was just not thinking clearly while I was trying to speed through my work. Fortunately, there was a moment of sanity where I said, "Oops...time to stop." I realized no harm done. From there I progressed to the worst case scenario routine--this one potentially getting fired. My old self would have continued to worry about getting fired. My new self thought, "Okay, you did stop once you thought about it." I even took it a step further. I thought, "So what if I were to get fired? It may feel bad at the time, but ultimately the only thing being fired means would be that I was meant to experience this then move on to something different."

My new reallity is, things may seem bad at the time, but in the end they really do work out for the greater good! Every negative experience I've ever had felt like the end of the world. What I have finally incorporated into my being is the fact that those times which felt like the end of the world were truly only new beginnings! They have been my places of highest growth and awareness. They have all brought me into new states of being, new places of power. I realized I could be thankful for the negative because even when I don't know what's going to happen initially I know it will result in something beautiful! It took a long time for this seed idea to fully blossom into a wonderful flower. Now that is has, I feel different. I feel transformed.

Our human existence is all about growth--about becoming more than we presently are. Consequently, we all have the ability to learn and change. It begins with a fresh perspective. Once we are able to consistently see the world through this new lens we react differently to it. It is this knowledge that transforms our existence. It is this knowledge that tranforms our realities.

Imperfection Makes Us...Perfect

From the time I was a small child, I've had major perfectionist issues. My school work had to be perfect. My drawings had to be perfect. I had to follow all the rules. When I fell down in any issue, I would beat myself up. This has continued until very recently and has only changed because I learned this secret:  mistakes are essential to growth.

It may sound strange, but it's true. Living a perfect life teaches you nothing except judgement. You end up living your life by some worldly standard--a man-made creation that has nothing to do with the truth that is God. In my life, it has been those times I have done something out of the ordinary that I learned better coping skills (not to mention compassion for others). Ask yourself this simple question: Have I learned more from playing by the rules or by straying from them? What has given me the most surprising results?


We choose this human life as an opportunity for expansion and growth. Attempting to be perfect will limit our success. Making mistakes facilitates our development by increasing our options. While some mistakes can be horrible, they still have the potential to teach us something. I no longer beat myself up over my mistakes. I accept who I am, flaws and all, because it is my imperfection that makes me perfect.

The Power of a Smile

I recently took a job as a sales representative at a department store that emphasizes customer service and friendliness. Because it is important to smile at and talk to customers, I have had a great deal of practice smiling lately. I realized the other day how good the smiling has been for me. I left work, after smiling for hours, with a smile on my face and a light-hearted, happy feeling in my chest. It's been a long time since I've felt that good. It made me realize just how much power is in a smile.

I was very happy as a child. Sure I had the usual disappointments, but I generally had a smile on my face. From a very early age I understood the importance of giving one of my smiles to people who were not smiling. Right away they would cheer up and smile back. I was open and encouraging with them, and they would respond in kind. Doors opened easily for me. Things almost always went my way. It is only as an adult that I have come to realize my smile had a great deal to do with that.

As an adult, my own personal problems as well as the problems of the world have often weighed me down. I spent years as a single mom depressed and only minimally able to cope with life's problems. In the past year, I have been made very aware that much of that time was spent not smiling.

As I reflect on where my life has been, where my life is, and where I want my life to go, I am increasingly aware of the power of a smile. It has opened many doors and enabled me to help others. Even more important, it has had the power to heal me. It is one simple little action, but it has the power to change the world.

The Missing Secret

As a huge fan of The Secret (Extended Edition) by Rhonda Byrne, I was inspired by many great ideas. Things like what you focus on becomes reality and the importance of gratitude have played key roles in my subsequent life and resulted in many positive outcomes. Still, my successes have been somewhat limited in nature and I am aware of many others who feel the same way. In my quest to find answers, I have stumbled upon one principle which was not emphasized, but has been very important in my development: the principle of connection.

The Secret has a tendency to focus on the things you can do as an individual to draw what you want into your life. When most of us see ourselves as individuals, we see ourselves as independent, separate beings. The truth is, when we are separate from each other and the Universe we have no power. There is a power that flows in and through all things. This power binds us and connects us to everything that exists and is the source of insight and inspiration. The more "plugged in" we are to this energy of connection, the more powerful we become.

Think about this: when you are open, smiling, happy, others are much more open to you because you are inviting them in. They like you and want to help you if they can. Doors that weren't previously opened are now accessible to you. You have made yourself energetically connected to them. When you open up like this to the rest of the Universe--animals, places, things--their energy is also opened up to you. The reality is, while we function in this world as individuals, we are always part of a larger whole.

The reverse is also true. When you are closed off from others and the rest of the world, it is closed to you. This is when nothing goes your way, and you are powerless. You may even become angry or depressed. There is no greater hell than the state of separateness.

The solution to making the law of attraction work for you is simple: Learn to connect to that place in your soul that is One with the Universe. Feel your Oneness, your connection. Take time every day to become famaliar with all that is present there--feelings, people, things, places, events, etc. Learn to draw strength from it. You will find insights and inspirations that were always there but never seen before. You will understand how you fit into the great plan. You will have found what is missing. You will have found yourself.

The Source of Our Perspective

Years ago, I worked in a group home with emotionally disturbed children. One of the children I worked with, whom I will call Justin, was at the home because of run ins he had already had with the law at the tender age of eight. He and a gang of six-year-olds had gone around the neighborhood stealing bikes. It was a natural occurence for someone growing up poor and coming from a family where everyone else also had problems with the law.

One morning as the children were getting ready for school, I knocked on Justin's door to let him know he was not going to school right away because he was to have a meeting with his probation officer. At my announcement, the eyes of Justin's roommate, who was a year older and bigger than Justin, widened in surprise and he said, "You have a probation officer?!!!" (Most of the children there just had social workers.) Justin looked at the roommate, and in a very innocent sort of way said, "Sure. Doesn't everybody?" I had to stifle back a laugh, because Justin truly wasn't aware that most people don't have probation officers. Where he came from, everybody did.

My purpose in sharing this story is not just to amuse but to point out how the society we grow up in shapes our view of the world. We may have grown up in a society that fears and hates people from different races or cultures. We may have grown up in a society that tells us being gay is a sin and will land you in hell if you don't "reform". The problem with these societal beliefs is that they are often based on false truths and lead to separation.

We are not here to perpetuate separateness. We are here to learn how to love unconditionally. We are called to bridge the gap that separates us from our fellow human beings! Often, it is those lessons society teaches us that cause the divisions. Conflict is the result of a tainted point of view and not a reflection of truth. When in the middle of conflict, it is important to assess the situation from a more objective point of view. Learn to question yourself. Why do I believe this is wrong? Because the Bible says it's wrong and the Bible is an infallible source of truth? (Maybe this has more to do with your preacher's or family's intrepretation of the Bible.) Because this is the law, and I always follow the law? Whatever your reason, if you follow it back to its source you will discover your perspective is highly influenced by your life lessons. Your perspective may not be influenced by truth at all.

The fact of the matter is, we all have access to the truth. It lies within. There is a part of our soul that is directly connected to the Universe and all things in it. Even Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is within you." (Luke 17:21 KJV) Time to see the source of our perspective for what it is--our life lessons. Once we understand this, we can let go of our learned perspective and embrace the truth. We become a source of wholeness and healing for the world.

The Perfection of Allowing

My heart is breaking for a friend in distress. A terrible custody battle has been raging over her young granddaughter and it is not looking good for her daughter. Part of the problem stems from her daughter's troubled past. Although the daughter has been away from her former lifestyle for years the custody battle has dredged it all up, and the child's father is extremely good at keeping up appearances. They face the very real possibility that they could lose custody to a father who wants the child mainly so he doesn't have to pay child support. We have all prayed for a positive outcome, and are saddened by the thought the daughter may lose custody.

Still, as I look at the situation, there are a few things I know. The first is that our perceptions are not necessarily reality. Our experiences are colored by what we have been taught by society and what we have gleaned from our own personal experiences. This coloring may taint the way we see the truth. There are also probably elements we can't even see because our experiences and societal lessons have not taught us to look for them. I know we may not be looking at the situation the same way God looks at the situation.

Another thing I know is the more I fight against the inevitable the more the inevitable fights back. Fighting only brings more problems, never solutions. Occasionally we may be able to run away from our problems, but in the long run they tend to catch up with us again (sometimes in a slightly different form but always the same essential problem). It is only when I give up what I want and "surrender" to the inevitable that God enables me to resolve the issue.

I don't have all the answers, but I know God has a plan. There is obviously something about this situation we are missing. Maybe the granddaughter has been sent to help her father change in some way, and having custody of her will help achieve this goal. Maybe it is something else, but I know in the very depths of my soul things happen for a reason. When we have the courage to accept the plan, things fall into place. Chaos becomes order. Struggle becomes peace. When we allow things to be, we unblock the barriers which limit our growth. We allow ourselves, and others, to be perfected. 

The Opportunity to Love

Years ago, I attended a small Christian congregation. For the most part, it was a pretty good group of people. Still there were several members there who I always felt were just outside the group even though they were included in church activities. One was a lady who was very needy to the point of being embarressing. Another was a single mom who had never been married. Still another was a woman whose home life was so dysfunctional and chaotic she could not hide it, including a grown son serving serious time in prison. At times my heart would break as I felt some of the isolation these women experienced because of their differences.

In one particularly insightful moment, I managed to ask God an extremely relevant question. In my heartbreak, I asked God why these women were here at this church. The answer I got back was almost instantaneous. "They are here to give the other people in the congregation the opportunity to love."

I pondered this one for a while. These women had lifestyles different enough from the mainstream Christian population for them to be ostracized within that community, yet here they were continuing on as part of it. I have believed for a long time we all choose our missions in life. I realized the lives they had chosen were not about their own glory but were about helping others learn to love--one of life's greatest lessons. In my mind's eye, I understood they were not the victims of their circumstances but noble teachers who chose to dedicate their lives to helping others.

From the moment of our births, we are taught the "right" ways to behave in society. Straying from that path subjects us to the disapproval and separation of judgement. However, life is not about separation. Life is about finding what is good in others and allowing ourselves to love them regardless of our differences. The opportunity to love is all around us. Time to lay aside our differences and focus on the light within.