Wake-Up Call

Depression held me in its tight grip for years. I never anticipated being a single mom. I never anticipated being solely responsible for raising a very troubled daughter. Most days felt as though I was barely keeping my head above water, trying not to drown in the tumultuous waters of my life.

When my daughter was small, I could make her conform to society's rules. This was not always easy. She would have terrible tantrums and meltdowns in situations which were comfortable and untroubled for most people. As she got older, this became much more of a problem because she was stronger and consequently more dangerous in her irrational rages. Holes in walls and broken doors became the norm. In my depressed state, it became impossible for me to keep up with the clutter as my house literally fell apart. I stopped inviting friends over, afraid that if they saw the state of my home they would know my secret--that I had major problems I did not know how to deal with.

I became quite good at keeping up the facade. I kept the kids in outside activities they were interested in and encouraged them to pursue their talents. I helped with their homework, cooked them dinner, did their laundry and continued to work fulltime. I was getting by until the summer my daughter turned sixteen.

By this time, my daughter was as big as me and very rebellious. Trying to tell her to do anything would set her off on some out-of-control rage. My sons, my new husband and I always felt like we were walking on eggshells whenever she was around. She did what she wanted. Grounding her did no good. Where the boys would stay confined in their room, my daughter would laugh in my face and walk out the door.

One day toward the end of the summer, my daughter came to me and told me she was pregnant. We took her to the doctor where this was confirmed. Less than a week later just as we were getting used to the idea of her being a mom and me being a grandma, she had to be rushed to the emergency room because she was having a miscarriage. I felt guilty in being relieved by how things worked out because my daughter was hurting.

If all that trauma wasn't bad enough, about a month later, she was attacked and nearly raped while walking by herself after dark in our neighborhood. She was only saved because she was carrying her cell phone and managed to text some friends nearby who rescued her. She had been introduced to her attacker once by a mutual friend so he was caught and brought to justice. However, because he had a large number of friends and family members who lived in our neighborhood, life for my daughter got that much harder. Always a little paranoid and not very social, now she was getting accused of "lying" about the attack and getting their friend in trouble. It had always been difficult to get my daughter to go to school--most of our major fights happened in the morning before school. Now it was impossible to even get her out of bed. I tried to move her to her father's school district where she wouldn't come into contact with these kids, but that did not work either. My brilliant daughter, who actually won the Algebra award at her high school her freshman year for having the highest GPA in the class, was now a high school dropout. Because of her trauma, she also suffered from nightmares, panic attacks and PTSD.

Through the entire process, I fought with myself. I worked so hard to keep up appearances--to pretend that nothing was wrong. I found myself judging my daughter at every turn because she did not follow what my head told me was the "right" way to do things. The whole time, my heart pleaded with me, "Stop it! You are living a lie--a world created in your imagination out of all those things you were taught were 'truths'!" The voice in my heart continued to get louder and the problems in my life continued to get bigger until my body could take no more. I screamed back, "Enough! I am ready to stop fighting the truth and accept my daughter for who she is!"

As hard and as painful as this realization was, it continues to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. It is only in accepting my life as it truly IS that I can finally see past the lies I have been taught to believe in. What I believed to be "the rules" was merely a construct designed to maintain order and control. I now understand the judgment I held was part of this construct. Finally, I can look past the judgment to the beauty of the soul which resides in each person--to the Divinity of each one, including myself. I see my daughter's light and the blessing she is to me, and for the first time I am thankful.

I slept most of my forty-five years because I lived from the teachings in my head instead of the truth in my heart. If there is confusion and discord in your life, understand it is here to tell you something. Ask what it is you need to learn from this experience. It may just wake you up to truth!

The Lie

I absolutely adore The Matrix movies, starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne and Carrie-Anne Moss. To me, they are so profound in their symbolism--prophetic even. They are a series about one man's journey to discover the truth, to overcome the lies he has lived with all his life, and to transcend the conflict in order to attain a true state of peace. My life the past few years has been all about this same journey--to discover the truth, overcome the lie and find a state of peace.

In the movie, Keanu Reeves character Neo, makes the choice to question the way things are. Intuitively, he knows something does not feel right. His questions lead him to answers he does not anticipate--that people are imprisoned by machines to be an energy source for the machines to use. The world they live in is one based purely in the mind (in the lie). Absorbing the truth and learning to use it becomes a process--an evolutionary journey. This is the stage I believe I am personally in. I feel like the blinders have been pulled off and I am finally seeing the truth my world has tried to hide from me all these years to keep me in bondage to those who would control my life. It has not been an easy transition. I was used to the lies, and because they were familiar they were comforting to me.

I now anticipate the conclusion Neo comes to in his journey--that the solution is truly about peace. In the end, his character goes to the machines they are fighting with--the same ones that have imprisoned them for all those years--and tells them the people are willing to stop the fighting if the machines are.

"Ah! But the movie ends with Neo fighting his nemesis, you say!" Yes, but the answer to that is also symbolic. During the course of the movie, Neo discovers that his nemesis, Agent Smith, is really the dark half of himself or his ego. In the end, what Neo really overcomes is his individuality so that he can become whole.

The lie we have been told in this lifetime is that we are separate--that there is a right and a wrong, a good and a bad. While it is true there is a dual nature in this earth, each element is part of the Oneness. We continue to fight and struggle with one another because we believe one way is better than another and are focused on winning the fight. Our lives are not about winning the fight. They are about understanding ourselves and the Oneness more clearly. It is only when we stop fighting we can truly live as we were intended to live--as One.

Wake up! Question with boldness! The truth is out there! Learn to overcome the lie!

The Free Speech About Science Act (HR 1364)

I am not usually one to make pure political comments on my spiritually-based blog, but this lines up with my core beliefs and values to strongly (to help truth prevail) I cannot let the topic pass without bringing it to light. You see, I have just learned there is new legislation in the U.S. House of Representatives which would finally allow natural food and supplement manufacturers to make health claims about their products based on scientifically proven studies! Known as the Free Speech About Science Act, or HR 1364, this bill would allow freer access to information linking natural products to the potential health benefits they can provide.

In this "free" country known as America, our flow of information has been limited by those who have the money and influence to control it. Under current American law, the FDA can shut down any food producer or supplement manufacturer who tries to claim that their product can aid or cure a disease or condition. How did this happen, you ask? The very rich and powerful pharmaceutical industry has lobbied hard to pass laws which keep this information from getting out to the public. Why? Because if people knew about natural products that could potentially cure what ails them, they would not buy Big Pharma's expensive (and vastly profitable) medicines. Big Pharma's goal is not to save us. Big Pharma is just interested in the almighty dollar! We are only free to know the information they choose to tell us! How can we possible make intelligent and informed decisions when we only have bits and pieces of the information?

Big Pharma is not the only industry in America which would limit your access to the truth by limiting your information! News organizations are notorious for covering only the stories they wish for you to hear so you will side with them. The government also pares down the information it provides so you have to make your decisions based on such one-sided information.

The truth is out there, but we have to diligently seek it out! One thing we can all do is to stand together and let those in power know we will no longer accept anything but the truth! We need to hold them accountable for the lies, inaccuracies and disinformation they provide. Only the truth can set us free!

Hold those in power accountable today by sending letters to your U.S. Representatives and Senators supporting The Free Speech About Science Act by clicking on the Alliance For Natural Health's link: Protect Your Right To Know About the Science Behind the Supplements! Then, forward this blog or the link to all your friends so their voices may also be heard! Together, we can have a profound impact on our own ability to hear the whole truth!

Illusions of the Mind

The world you live in is an illusion. It is not based in truth, nor has it ever been. The world you live in is one that has been formed using the constructs of the mind--imaginary structures based on man's ideas about how the world "should" work. You ask, "What's not real? What's not truth?" The answer: pretty much everything.

Let's look at religion--I will pick on Christianity because it is what I know best. The ideas I speak of here are not limited to just Christianity. (I would even say they would apply to religions such as the great religion of science.) Christianity bases its beliefs on the Holy Bible--its "source of truth". While I do believe there is truth to be found in the Bible (as in all good books), it is hidden by the inaccuracies of various interpretations of it. Even Christians cannot agree on what the Bible instructs its followers. Each denomination has its set of beliefs or "laws" about how the world is supposed to operate, and they are all different. Truth does not change. Truth is what is left over when you have pared away the nonessentials (which happens to be most everything). Truth IS. If Christians truly understood what truth was, there would be no arguing. You can't argue with what IS. The I AM stands on its own.

Science does not understand this principle either. When you do a little research and try to get back to the basic premises that the "truths" of science are based on, what do you find? You find that their scientific "fact" is based on someone's original theory. What is the definition of a theory? A few definitions from www.thefreedictionary.com are as follows:  A set of statements or principles devised to explain a group of facts or phenomena, especially one that has been repeatedly tested or is widely accepted and can be used to make predictions about natural phenomena; Abstract reasoning; speculation; An assumption based on limited information or knowledge; a conjecture. When you get back to the heart of science, it too is based on an assumption, a conjecture! It may or may not be truth, but that does not stop it from being accepted as truth. This is why great scientists every few hundred years come along and upset the great scientific apple cart, discarding hundreds of years of assumptions with one new thought.

Now let's look at the American medical community. Americans are taught to believe that we have the best healthcare technology available. Billions are spent every year on scans and surgeries and vaccines and medicines that are going to "save" us from what ails us! Often, the treatment ends up worse than the disease! Look at standard "chemo" to treat cancer. Sure it kills the cancer cells, but it also kills your healthy cells--the ones your body uses to protect itself! Is this sensible? No. Yet every year we allow it to be pumped into our bodies in order to "save" ourselves. This practice has become so accepted by Americans that the government now forces children whose parents don't want to poison them with chemo to get the chemo or the parent is deemed unfit and will actually lose custody of their child! There are actual cures for cancer out there that don't kill you too (although in America they are often outlawed!). Look at the actress Suzanne Sommers. She was cured of breast cancer without chemo and without surgery! It happens. The truth is just hidden from us by the powers that be and their thirst for our money!

These institutions and others were all constructed using thoughts which came from the mind of man. These constructs were layered on top of the truth and became so accepted over time that they are now considered to be the truth. We have lost sight of what actually is the truth because we have been taught these lies for so long. We have come to rely so much on our minds and their related thought processes we have lost the ability to access the place of real truth--the place of the heart.

Even Jesus taught that the kingdom of God lies within. It is not outside ourselves. Each one has the ability to go within to his or her own heart, to access the Divine spark within and learn to recognize that Divine spark in others. It is this love--this energy-- that connects us. It is this energy that flows in and through all things! This is the real source of truth, and it is available to each and every one of us when we learn to access it.

Learning to access truth through the heart is the key to overcoming the illusions of the mind. Most people are able to access this truth occasionally without even being aware of it. How will you know? You will be confronted with some internal conflict or turmoil. This is your body's way of telling you something is not right in your world! The conflict comes because what the world has taught you to be truth does not agree with what your heart innately knows to be truth. It is at these times you need to acknowledge the conflict and search your heart for answers. God--truth--will speak to you there. The answers will probably shock you!

We all have the ability to overcome the illusions of the mind. In doing so, we allow truth to exist freely as it was meant to. It is only by allowing what IS to exist that we are truly set free.




 

Of Words and Truth

My husband and I have a communication problem. The vast majority of what I learn from the world comes through what I hear. Consequently, when I express myself I try to use very precise words in an attempt to be as well understood as possible. My husband, who is slightly deaf, learns more about the world through his senses of touch and sight. He is not as concerned with the precision of his words. Our communication problems stem from the fact that we often use the same words in very different ways--in different contexts with different meanings. This can lead to misunderstandings when we fail to realize we are using different words to promote the same ideas. Ironically, what we think of as truth is usually the same.

I believe communication problems in our world lead to a great deal of fighting and separation. We try to express the truth as we understand it with our limited vocabularies and expect others to exactly understand the concept we are talking about. The point is, human language is limited! Misunderstandings occur when we fail to convey truth through imperfect words.

Look at an orange. You can try to describe an orange to someone who has not seen or experienced one. You could say it is round, orange, and covered with small dimples. You could talk about the softness of the peel, the splatter of the juice as you pull it apart, the sweet-tart taste of the center or the bitter taste of the pith. You could use the best, most precise langauage possible. The person you are describing it all to might have some understanding of what you describe, but until they actually have an orange in front of them they will never know the reality--the truth--of it. Until they actually experience the concept of an orange it holds no real meaning.

Truth is much like the experience of an orange. You can describe it with words you know, and maybe the person who hears it will come away with some increased awareness of the concept and what to look for when it shows up. However, until they actually experience the truth--feel it with their being--they can never truly understand it.

It is ironic that many of us experience the same truth, but because of the words we use to describe our understanding we end up fighting about it. Truth is universal. Words are not. Remember that the next time you assume someone else is wrong in their understanding. Be open to getting to the heart of the matter--to understand the experience they are trying to convey instead of your interpretation of their words. You may find you are much more in sync than you originally thought.

May the truth make you One. May the truth set you free.   

Tradition or Truth?

In the course of re-examining my beliefs, it has become glaringly clear how often I stand in judgment of others. I know I'm in judgment because I will immediately be repulsed by certain situations. At this point in time, I ask myself, "What are these judgments based on?"  When I search for the answer, the judgment always seems to go back to those understandings I have acquired through my fellow man. My conclusion is that judgments stem wholly from tradition and not truth.

When I was a teenager, I was pretty good at hearing the voice of God within. At times, I would hear Him tell me that a certain person needed to hear specific words of counsel and that I needed to say them. I remember one time I was at church camp. I was to share some very specific words with a fellow camper. I did so and didn't think anything more about it until the last campfire of the week. During the "testimony" part of the campfire, the girl I had talked to stood up and told everyone how upset she was at God. She was upset because she had asked for some very specific answers for her life which had not been addressed that week. She then proceeded to tell us what those questions were. Imagine my shock when I realized all the answers she had asked for had been addressed by me earlier in the week.

I didn't bother to point it out to her for several reasons. I knew the girl had been raised in a conservative household. I knew she thought answers were only from God if they had come through a member of "His priesthood"--probably proceeded by highfalutin language like "Thus saith the Spirit" in order to make it official. There was also the problem that, as a female, I was not even allowed to be in the priesthood at that time. God had given her the exact answers she wanted, but because of her traditions she failed to recognize them for the blessings they were.

How often are we guilty of missing God's blessings because of a faulty tradition we have allowed to get in the way? It's time for all of us to re-examine our beliefs. Where did they come from? Did you learn them at the feet of your parents? Did they come from your (or your pastor's) interpretation of the Bible? Jesus himself showed us the way when he counseled, "The kingdom of God lies within". It is direct connection with God that is important. It is connection that allows us to know the Truth. The more we can see our traditions for what they are, the closer we get to God.    

The Source of Our Perspective

Years ago, I worked in a group home with emotionally disturbed children. One of the children I worked with, whom I will call Justin, was at the home because of run ins he had already had with the law at the tender age of eight. He and a gang of six-year-olds had gone around the neighborhood stealing bikes. It was a natural occurence for someone growing up poor and coming from a family where everyone else also had problems with the law.

One morning as the children were getting ready for school, I knocked on Justin's door to let him know he was not going to school right away because he was to have a meeting with his probation officer. At my announcement, the eyes of Justin's roommate, who was a year older and bigger than Justin, widened in surprise and he said, "You have a probation officer?!!!" (Most of the children there just had social workers.) Justin looked at the roommate, and in a very innocent sort of way said, "Sure. Doesn't everybody?" I had to stifle back a laugh, because Justin truly wasn't aware that most people don't have probation officers. Where he came from, everybody did.

My purpose in sharing this story is not just to amuse but to point out how the society we grow up in shapes our view of the world. We may have grown up in a society that fears and hates people from different races or cultures. We may have grown up in a society that tells us being gay is a sin and will land you in hell if you don't "reform". The problem with these societal beliefs is that they are often based on false truths and lead to separation.

We are not here to perpetuate separateness. We are here to learn how to love unconditionally. We are called to bridge the gap that separates us from our fellow human beings! Often, it is those lessons society teaches us that cause the divisions. Conflict is the result of a tainted point of view and not a reflection of truth. When in the middle of conflict, it is important to assess the situation from a more objective point of view. Learn to question yourself. Why do I believe this is wrong? Because the Bible says it's wrong and the Bible is an infallible source of truth? (Maybe this has more to do with your preacher's or family's intrepretation of the Bible.) Because this is the law, and I always follow the law? Whatever your reason, if you follow it back to its source you will discover your perspective is highly influenced by your life lessons. Your perspective may not be influenced by truth at all.

The fact of the matter is, we all have access to the truth. It lies within. There is a part of our soul that is directly connected to the Universe and all things in it. Even Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is within you." (Luke 17:21 KJV) Time to see the source of our perspective for what it is--our life lessons. Once we understand this, we can let go of our learned perspective and embrace the truth. We become a source of wholeness and healing for the world.