Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Perfection of Allowing

My heart is breaking for a friend in distress. A terrible custody battle has been raging over her young granddaughter and it is not looking good for her daughter. Part of the problem stems from her daughter's troubled past. Although the daughter has been away from her former lifestyle for years the custody battle has dredged it all up, and the child's father is extremely good at keeping up appearances. They face the very real possibility that they could lose custody to a father who wants the child mainly so he doesn't have to pay child support. We have all prayed for a positive outcome, and are saddened by the thought the daughter may lose custody.

Still, as I look at the situation, there are a few things I know. The first is that our perceptions are not necessarily reality. Our experiences are colored by what we have been taught by society and what we have gleaned from our own personal experiences. This coloring may taint the way we see the truth. There are also probably elements we can't even see because our experiences and societal lessons have not taught us to look for them. I know we may not be looking at the situation the same way God looks at the situation.

Another thing I know is the more I fight against the inevitable the more the inevitable fights back. Fighting only brings more problems, never solutions. Occasionally we may be able to run away from our problems, but in the long run they tend to catch up with us again (sometimes in a slightly different form but always the same essential problem). It is only when I give up what I want and "surrender" to the inevitable that God enables me to resolve the issue.

I don't have all the answers, but I know God has a plan. There is obviously something about this situation we are missing. Maybe the granddaughter has been sent to help her father change in some way, and having custody of her will help achieve this goal. Maybe it is something else, but I know in the very depths of my soul things happen for a reason. When we have the courage to accept the plan, things fall into place. Chaos becomes order. Struggle becomes peace. When we allow things to be, we unblock the barriers which limit our growth. We allow ourselves, and others, to be perfected. 

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