Thursday, March 28, 2013

Letting Go of Destructive Patterns

For Eva and Bill

Change is in the air! Within the past couple of days, an incident occurred in my life that made me extremely angry (much too angry for the apparent situation if the truth be known). Without going into detail, let's just say I was (once again) being taken advantage of, and anger hit me like a brick wall. It was as if all the anger and resentment I have carried through many lifetimes all came into focus with this one little incident.

A great deal of emotion has confronted me the past couple of weeks. Anger. Resentment. Worry. Fear. All extreme. It took listening to the wise words of someone who is also in the middle of resolving crisis to help me recognize this emotion is here to bring about the opportunity to identify old destructive patterns in order to let go of them and create something new--something better.

As I began to focus on why this little incident brought up so much anger for me, I started to see a pattern--in this lifetime and in lifetimes past. Somehow, somewhere I got the idea that I was strong and that I could (and should) take on pain so others did not have to take on so much. In other words, I have developed quite the martyr complex. In the process, I have denied myself the very things that I want in life--even denying the full power of who I am. I have spent a long time playing small so others did not have to take full responsibility for themselves.

The reality is, my martyrdom benefited no one! Not myself. Not even the others I believed I was saving from pain. The fact of the matter is, we come to this world to learn. Many of these lessons require a great deal of pain because pain makes such a big impact on our lives. The only thing my martyrdom truly did was make me resent the things I gave up in order to save others from pain!

So now it's time to make a change. The anger of my little incident has been the catalyst for me to analyze what is wrong in my life and make appropriate changes. I'm really not sure how this will all play out. I do know that it is important for me to take everything one moment at a time. I need to live each moment of now so that I can deal with those emotions as they come up and begin to change all the ways I be that are this pattern of martyrdom. It is only by letting go of my destructive patterns that I can make room for something new. Something different. Something better.

Everything in the world right now screams to me that now is the time to give up all our destructive patterns. Change is here! Let's step up and create the space for a bold, new, wonderful world! We have the power to create lasting change! We are the change we wish to see in the world!
I am so honored to be taking this journey with each and every one of you! Namaste!

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