I am a planner. I enjoy thinking about what I want in life in order to plan what direction to move in. Knowing where I want to go keeps me calm. The underlying thought is, "If I am moving I should arrive at my destination eventually." Sitting still makes me nervous. If I sit still too long I begin to worry bad things will happen. As my imagination is very fertile, these types of thoughts can overwhelm and depress me. It occurs to me that my answer to being happy lies in my ability to live in the now.
My normal thought processes run something like this: I want to be a published author, an inspirational speaker, and life coach. Once I have come to this conclusion, my next step is to ask myself how I can logically get there. First, I have to write something. Then I have to find someone willing to publish it. I also need to polish my resume and start to work on materials that I can use to teach people those things I would like to help them learn. Anyway, you get the idea.
My depression comes when my logic finds flaws in my plans. For example, my logic tells me that it often takes people years before they are able to find someone willing to publish what they write. Consequently, this is not a good way to make immediate income. My logic also tells me that I have no experience teaching groups of people (other than my tour guiding experience and some classroom and church school instruction). Who would take me seriously? Who would value what I have to teach? These are honestly the sorts of ideas that run through my head when I try to make plans. Is it any wonder that I get overwhelmed?
The only place I am free of all those negative thoughts is right here, right now. In the now, I am comfortable. My needs are provided for. God is with me, in the silence. He is taking care of me. I am listening. I am trusting Him to inspire me if there is something I truly need to do now. He knows the desires of my heart. I believe He wants to bless me. God can truly see all the things I can't. He can make a way where there seems to be no way. In the now, I trust Him to lead the way.
The bible says much this same thing. From Matthew 6:31-34 (KJV) comes this message:
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Simply stated, our Heavenly Parent knows our needs. He supplies all the necessities of life when we need them. If we seek to find His will--His kingdom, He will supply the rest.
When I am in the now, I am waiting for His inspiration and guidance. When I am in the now, I don't have to trust in my flawed self. When I am in the now, I am the protected child of a Heavenly Parent. I am content, and that is all I need to be.