I finished reading Cheryl Richardson's book The Unmistakable Touch of Grace: How to Recognize and Respond to the Spiritual Signposts in Your Life this morning, and I have to confess it moved me to tears. The tears flowed because I realized how much God's hand has touched my life. As I look back, I remember all the times solutions appeared, doors opened and opportunities presented themselves, and I can see the Hand of God in each and every one of them. God provided everything I ever needed in a very timely manner. He never let me down--even when I failed to acknowledge His control of the situation.
I find myself waiting--waiting for the signposts that will guide me toward the next phase of my life. Like a horse behind the gate before the big race, I feel the need to push on ahead even though it is not quite time for the race to start. Nervousness and anxiety fill my thoughts as I try to anticipate what my future will hold. The signposts do not appear.
What do appear are thoughts. It is time for you to rest. It is time for you to fill yourself back up. Don't worry. I will provide for you when you have need. Like the scripture from Matthew 6:31-34
So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Admitting I don't have a gameplan is difficult. It sounds crazy to say, "I have no idea exactly what I'm going to do with my life." It sounds even crazier to admit I am not even actively seeking a job. Still I have to trust my guidance, and my guidance tells me to have patience and rest. I am still aware. I am still watching. I am trusting that the right door will open at the right time and I will walk through it.
Right now, my job is to rest and renew. I am resting in the arms of God. I am right where I belong.