My job has been over a little more than a week now, and I have to confess my time off has been great! Already I feel miles away from my old life of anxiety and worry. My quiet/meditation time improves daily. I feel my connection to God and to the world. I sense my talents and gifts, and every day I am inspired to find new and creative ways to use them. My once empty cup is now filling at a rapid pace, and I am full of gratitude.
The knowledge of this gratitude really hit me this afternoon. It was so beautiful in Georgia today! The sky was blue with fluffy clouds floating by. The air was warm but there was a wonderful breeze which kept everything feeling cool. Shea and I drove two hours in the sunshine to Columbus, Georgia for a soccer game. Country drives are always wonderful, and there are plenty of wide open spaces between Atlanta and Columbus. I felt happy to be alive, and it has been a long while since I have felt that.
Shea's soccer games have a tendency to fill me with fear. I guess it's because I want him to do well. He has a real talent when it comes to playing soccer. I would like to see him get some sort of scholarship out of it--I believe he is good enough. (Yes, I am a prejudiced mother, but his coaches seem to like him too judging by the fact that he usually plays entire games.) The fear comes when I dwell too much on the outcome. My head tells me they need to win for Shea to be noticed. Then I get upset when they lose. The fact of the matter is, my fear comes when I attempt to control a situation I have no power to control.
Today was a better day. I was able to remember that everything is really in God's hands. It is not for me to decided what happens in Shea's life. After all, God was the one that got Shea where he is today in his soccer career. The only thing I did was listen to God's nudging when He told me to let Shea try out for the travel team in the first place. (Okay, I guess I am also responsible for getting Shea to his games!) I'm sure God knows where Shea needs to be in his life, and God's ways and timing are always perfect. I need to be patient and wait for the blessings I know will come to Shea. As I sat at the soccer game today, I was happy because I know God will make a way regardless of the outcome of today's game.
What is truly amazing to me is all the gratitude I am able to feel! I know I am blessed. I know I am treasured. I know I am loved. I know that my life and the lives of my family will turn out for the best because I know who is really in control and that He wants us all to be happy. I am trusting my Source. I have that "Gratitude Attitude". I am rich beyond measure.