My husband and I have a communication problem. The vast majority of what I learn from the world comes through what I hear. Consequently, when I express myself I try to use very precise words in an attempt to be as well understood as possible. My husband, who is slightly deaf, learns more about the world through his senses of touch and sight. He is not as concerned with the precision of his words. Our communication problems stem from the fact that we often use the same words in very different ways--in different contexts with different meanings. This can lead to misunderstandings when we fail to realize we are using different words to promote the same ideas. Ironically, what we think of as truth is usually the same.
I believe communication problems in our world lead to a great deal of fighting and separation. We try to express the truth as we understand it with our limited vocabularies and expect others to exactly understand the concept we are talking about. The point is, human language is limited! Misunderstandings occur when we fail to convey truth through imperfect words.
Look at an orange. You can try to describe an orange to someone who has not seen or experienced one. You could say it is round, orange, and covered with small dimples. You could talk about the softness of the peel, the splatter of the juice as you pull it apart, the sweet-tart taste of the center or the bitter taste of the pith. You could use the best, most precise langauage possible. The person you are describing it all to might have some understanding of what you describe, but until they actually have an orange in front of them they will never know the reality--the truth--of it. Until they actually experience the concept of an orange it holds no real meaning.
Truth is much like the experience of an orange. You can describe it with words you know, and maybe the person who hears it will come away with some increased awareness of the concept and what to look for when it shows up. However, until they actually experience the truth--feel it with their being--they can never truly understand it.
It is ironic that many of us experience the same truth, but because of the words we use to describe our understanding we end up fighting about it. Truth is universal. Words are not. Remember that the next time you assume someone else is wrong in their understanding. Be open to getting to the heart of the matter--to understand the experience they are trying to convey instead of your interpretation of their words. You may find you are much more in sync than you originally thought.
May the truth make you One. May the truth set you free.
Showing posts with label experience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label experience. Show all posts
Friday, April 15, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Layers of Understanding
I have an appreciation for people older than myself--especially those who have achieved great age. Life has a way of giving new insights to old problems as you go along. Consequently, I value the insights of those who have already lived through some of the problems I currently deal with. With life experiences come new layers of understanding, new ways of coping in the world. Sometimes in our self-centered humanness we perceive that the very nature of truth has changed. The reality is what has changed is our understanding.
In my twenties, I had an experience with my grandmother that pained me a little. In talking to her about my cousin's wedding, she made the statement that my cousin made the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. What hurt me was that she had been to my wedding shortly before and even my sister's shortly after. My first thought was, "What am I? Chopped liver?" However, it really wasn't a huge deal and I let it go.
Several years later, I was talking to my mother. During the course of the conversation, she began to discuss how my cousin was more like my grandmother's daughter, as my grandmother had a large hand in raising my cousin because of the health problems of her parents. At that point, I realized why my grandmother had made the statement she had about my cousin being the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. My cousin was her daughter in many respects!
Within the past year, I have gotten even more insight into the whole situation. You see, I have been dealing with a daughter who has been diagnosed with a mood disorder. Even though my daughter is smart and has many talents, she is also very troubled and has been her whole life. She has never been what the world would call "normal". Consequently, it has taken me years to accept my daughter will never have the perfect life one hopes for their children. In looking back at the family history, my aunt (my cousin's mother) had very similar problems to my daughter. Understanding how my experiences with my daughter have pained me, I know my grandmother felt similar pain when thinking about her own daughter. My cousin, on the other hand, is much more "normal". She found a wonderful husband and they have had a terrific life together. Deep down, my grandmother recognized this. In my cousin, my grandmother finally had the happy ending she once longed to have in her own daughter. Because of this new insight, I am now happy in the realization that my grandmother finally found some peace and hope. That is what her statement meant.
There's an old adage that time heals all wounds. I believe this has a lot to do with the fact that experience often brings insights which lead to wisdom, mellowing the pain of the experience. Truth does not change, although our understanding of it often does. The difference lies in additional insights which change our perspectives from what they once were. These layers of understanding add a richness and depth to our lives here on earth. They add to our understanding of truth, and ultimately truth is what we are here to discover.
In my twenties, I had an experience with my grandmother that pained me a little. In talking to her about my cousin's wedding, she made the statement that my cousin made the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. What hurt me was that she had been to my wedding shortly before and even my sister's shortly after. My first thought was, "What am I? Chopped liver?" However, it really wasn't a huge deal and I let it go.
Several years later, I was talking to my mother. During the course of the conversation, she began to discuss how my cousin was more like my grandmother's daughter, as my grandmother had a large hand in raising my cousin because of the health problems of her parents. At that point, I realized why my grandmother had made the statement she had about my cousin being the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. My cousin was her daughter in many respects!
Within the past year, I have gotten even more insight into the whole situation. You see, I have been dealing with a daughter who has been diagnosed with a mood disorder. Even though my daughter is smart and has many talents, she is also very troubled and has been her whole life. She has never been what the world would call "normal". Consequently, it has taken me years to accept my daughter will never have the perfect life one hopes for their children. In looking back at the family history, my aunt (my cousin's mother) had very similar problems to my daughter. Understanding how my experiences with my daughter have pained me, I know my grandmother felt similar pain when thinking about her own daughter. My cousin, on the other hand, is much more "normal". She found a wonderful husband and they have had a terrific life together. Deep down, my grandmother recognized this. In my cousin, my grandmother finally had the happy ending she once longed to have in her own daughter. Because of this new insight, I am now happy in the realization that my grandmother finally found some peace and hope. That is what her statement meant.
There's an old adage that time heals all wounds. I believe this has a lot to do with the fact that experience often brings insights which lead to wisdom, mellowing the pain of the experience. Truth does not change, although our understanding of it often does. The difference lies in additional insights which change our perspectives from what they once were. These layers of understanding add a richness and depth to our lives here on earth. They add to our understanding of truth, and ultimately truth is what we are here to discover.
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