Friday, September 17, 2010

Jumping In the Deep End

I've done it this time. I jumped in the deep end not knowing if I could actually swim. As a matter of fact, all former indications would seem to signal no, and I jumped in anyway. This is the way of the heart. The mind signals "Danger! Warning! Don't Go There!" based on previous learning experiences. The heart, on the other hand, knows what it wants, and it is often in direct opposition to what the mind wants. The struggle between the two causes anxiety and confusion in those it affects. Jumping in the deep end is usually a scary proposition.

Recently, my high stress, low pay job being a daycare teacher became too much for me to handle anymore, so I quit. I was so scared to do it, knowing that it would be difficult to find any job in a different field in this poor ecomony. Still, I knew if I continued on that path it would just be more of the same. It would kill me eventually--my spirit if not my body.

I began to search inside myself for answers, knowing connecting within is the key to connecting to Source. As I opened my heart, my dreams and passions took hold. I have always wanted to be in business for myself. I have always wanted to be a motivational speaker. In the past, I have toyed with the concept of direct sales, believing strongly you can earn a livable income if you apply yourself. It also has elements of both my dreams. I found a great company selling all natural foods that lined up with my core values a few years back. My heart shouted, "Now is the time to truly commit!" My mind on the other hand was once again filled with doubts, ranging from, "You've never been able to do this before", to ,"You don't deserve to succeed." Having worked to release much of this negativity in the past year, I decided to go with my heart. 

You stand at the top looking down at the water. It's a long way down. The pool is a little cloudy at the deep end. You're not sure if there are rocks below the surface that could injure you. Still, you are sure it can be done. You may even be aware of other people who have done it before you with great success. With determination, you make the decision to take the plunge. The fall is a little out-of-control, but there is also a rush of excitement as you leave the security of the rock behind. You splash in the water, start to sink, and flail about until you find the exact movement that brings you back to the surface. Treading water can initially be hard, but in the end you become stronger. You may even learn to float. At this point you realize: the water is is cool and comfortable and a good place to be. Jumping in the deep end is a funny thing. The only real scary part about it is contemplating the actual leap.

If your heart tells you to do something, don't think. You may talk yourself out of it. Just jump. Once you get your bearings, the water below is cool and comfortable.

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