Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Reality of Freedom

It's official. I'm totally free of a job. I'm also totally free of a plan. Today did not go quite the way I envisioned it originally.

I spent the morning reviewing the web (okay, it more or less amounted to surfing). By the time I realized I really didn't have anything good to serve the family for lunch, it was almost 1:00. I ran to the grocery store for something to fix and made lunch in record time. I was planning on taking my youngest son over to his dad's house so he could visit with his half sister before I had to take my older son to his soccer game. That's when I discovered my older son had no soccer socks to go with his uniforms! Consequently, we had to rush to the soccer store before the game and I had no time to take my younger son to his dad's as I had promised. The bottom line is, some of my time crunch was my own fault. Some of it was because of my kids (my oldest son should have admitted he didn't have socks much earlier than right before the game).

I know I need to organize my time much better. I will never accomplish all the things I want to get done without a game plan.

I definitely need to be more deliberate with my quiet/meditation time. Reconnecting with the Source (God) is a number one priority right now. I did try to listen to a mediation recording on my iPod while I was waiting for the soccer game to begin, but the noise and sights of the game already in progress distracted my poor little ADD brain. Tomorrow I will need to deliberately set aside time to listen to the silence for direction and answers. This may mean getting up extra early tomorrow as I have two soccer games to attend.

Now that I have time, I also need to plan things like my family's meals and my personal exercise time better. That way, those priorities won't become afterthoughts. As far as how I will spend the rest of the hours in my day, I'm leaving that up to inspiration (the Source). This is why my quiet time is so high on my priorities list.

I guess even freedom has a cost. If you aren't self-motivated, you will never accomplish what you want in life. I might be free from the confines of a normal job, but now I am also free to waste time as I choose. Not a good choice in my opinion. I owe it to myself to become everything I can be. Building good habits now will help me in the long run. I need to be willing to pay the price for my freedom. Freedom really isn't free, is it?

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