Author's note: The following post is part of a series dealing with my experiences in the Jeffrey Lundgren cult and what I learned from those experiences. My hope is that my story will teach others the importance of listening to the voice of God within for their answers. Peace. cse
The Decision That Changed Everything
While I was happy living in Kirtland full-time, my husband, Brian, was not. He increasingly began to fear Jeff and his teachings and started planning his escape. Taking a semester off school had actually done Brian some good. While working as a store loss prevention agent, which he found himself to be good at, he got to interact with many law enforcement officials. Brian decided he would like to be a police officer. His plan was to go back to school in Iowa for the spring semester and major in sociology/criminal justice.
I was heartbroken. After years of planning to be part of this group to help "establish the cause of Zion", I had finally succeeded. Now I was back to square one, and I didn't like it. I was still in love with Brian, but I was torn between staying with him or staying in Kirtland without him. Unsure of what I should do, I decided to put the question to Jeff directly. I told Jeff that Brian was going to back to school after Christmas and wanted me to go with him, but that I wanted to stay in Kirtland. "What should I do?"
To this day I have no idea what was running through Jeff's mind when I posed this question to him. Maybe he was thinking about the trouble my mother had caused him and would cause him in the future if I were to leave my husband. Maybe he wasn't convinced I was sincere. All I know is what he answered. "You need to go with your husband."
I knew Jeff was a believer in the idea that the man should be in charge of the household. At the time, I didn't question his answer any further than that. As I look back at my life, I know that continuing with the group was not part of my life's plan. My life would have been very different if not for this pivotal decision--a decision I left up to a madman.
The story continues: http://cocoontobutterfly.blogspot.com/2011/03/to-trust-in-man-part-15.html
*(For more information on this incident, one of the best books written is Prophet of Death. the Mormon Blood-Atonement Killings by Pete Earley. It's very detailed and uncomfortably graphic, but he did his research well. Earley gets to the heart of why Jeff and his followers acted as they did, without bias. Also, A&E did a segment of their show American Justice on this topic: American Justice: The Cult Murders.)